


and i know it's hard to tell, but i think i really like you

by tadanoris



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: First Crush, Friendship, Gen, implied mitsusora, implied tomohaji (?)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 09:08:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20328631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tadanoris/pseuds/tadanoris
Summary: Sora is his friend. His special friend, even though Mitsuru can’t tell what makes him so extra special. Why does he feel differently about Sora compared to his other friends? Why are the butterflies back, stronger than ever, to the point where they make it difficult for Mitsuru to be around Sora?Perhaps notdifficult,but Mitsuru can tell there’s something off about himself. Like he’s some kind of sick, like he’s—“Lovesick.”written for day two of ra*bits week. prompt: courage





	and i know it's hard to tell, but i think i really like you

Mitsuru doesn’t know much about crushes. He’s never had one before, at least not one this… intense? If whatever this is can even be called a crush. He doesn’t know! He doesn’t know how he should be able to know. It’s all very confusing and weird and kinda dumb. 

He remembers his sister telling him about the crush she had on her current girlfriend before they got together. She had gushed about her a lot, talked about how she made her feel all giddy and happy, and how she wanted to always be around her.

But isn’t that what one is supposed to feel about friends too? Mitsuru always finds himself thinking about Hajime, Tomoya and Nazuna. He’s always happy to hang out with them, and they always put him in a good mood. Mitsuru even remembers feeling a fluttering sensation the first times he got to be around each of them alone. He remembers wanting to bury his nose in Hajime’s soft hair; remembers thinking about how cool Tomoya looked up on stage, dressed like the prince he is; remembers hearing Nazuna’s singing voice for the first time and wanting to fall asleep to it— and through it all, there had been that feeling in his stomach, like butterflies flying around and threatening to spill out and talk, “I like you! And you! And you!”

But that fluttering feeling had eventually ebbed away, replaced by a comfortable warmth that Mitsuru loves. It’s the warmth of Ra*bits, familiar and healing and easy to understand. It is the love he feels for his friends, and the love they feel for him too.

Then what makes Sora so different?

Outside of Ra*bits, Sora is easily the one Mitsuru spends the most time with. Being classmates means it’s easy to plan outings together, go to the cafeteria together, and work on projects together (though Kunugi had eventually banned them from doing that, seeing as they rarely got any work done). 

Sora is his friend. His special friend, even though Mitsuru can’t tell what makes him so extra special. Why does he feel differently about Sora compared to his other friends? Why are the butterflies back, stronger than ever, to the point where they make it difficult for Mitsuru to be around Sora?

Perhaps not _ difficult,  _ but Mitsuru can tell there’s something off about himself. Like he’s some kind of sick, like he’s—

“Lovesick.”

Mitsuru jumps at the word, giving Nazuna a wide-eyed look. After having shared thoughts about his predicament with Nazuna, Tomoya and Hajime, Mitsuru had sort of been expecting an answer like that, but it still makes his cheeks burn to hear someone say it aloud. Speaking it means making it real, it means that what he had been thinking  _ is _ true, it means that Mitsuru is confused and almost a little scared.

“L-Lovesick?” Mitsuru repeats.

Tomoya replies with a nod, “You like Harukawa.”

“Shh!” With more force than necessary, Mitsuru puts his hand over Tomoya’s mouth (and nose) to shut him up, one finger narrowly avoiding poking him in the eye. “Someone could hear you yanno!”

It’s kind of hard to see Tomoya’s expression when Mitsuru’s hand is covering most of it, but he can tell by his eyes alone that Tomoya is not too happy about being silenced like that. Grabbing Mitsuru’s wrist, he moves his hand away, revealing an exasperated look. “Ow.”

Hajime smiles from where he’s seated next to Tomoya, a sandwich in his hands. “You kind of deserved that, Tomoya-kun. It’s best not to say things like that when someone could be listening.”

“We’re literally the only ones here,” Tomoya tries to argue, but he relents. “Fine, okay, I won’t say it again, but what I said was true, right?”

Mitsuru squirms in his seat and Nazuna has to grab the bag of bread on Mitsuru’s lap to keep it from falling. “I… yeah? He’s my friend, so of course I like him, I just—”

“You’re in love with him,” Nazuna tries again, saying it so plainly as if he’s talking about the weather. Mitsuru, on the other hand, goes bright red and stands up. 

“That’s—! Too far, niichan, too far!”

“A crush?” Hajime speaks up again, a sympathetic smile on his gentle features. 

Mitsuru looks at him and nods, before slowly sitting down again. He definitely does love Sora, and he’s openly told him that many times before, but saying that he’s _ in _ love with him sounds far too scary for him to think about. A crush sounds better. Safer. Still unfamiliar, but definitely not incorrect.

He has a crush on Sora. That’s what those butterflies mean. That’s why he wants to hold hands with Sora all the time even when his hand gets sweaty, that’s why he wants to hug him even though he doesn’t like physical affection that much, that’s why he wants to kiss—

“Guuuuh!” The unfinished thought alone is enough to make him cover his burning face with his hands, a string of odd sounds escaping him, like a teapot letting out steam, like a boy with his first crush.

He hears amused laughter before someone places a hand on his shoulder, but Mitsuru doesn’t budge. He kind of wants to just escape somewhere, maybe go for a run where no one can see how red his face is.

“Having a crush isn’t a bad thing, Mitsuru-chin,” Nazuna says. “You know that, right?”

Mitsuru nods, though he keeps his face hidden. “I know it’s not bad, it’s just… weird.”

“It’s not weird for boys to like each other.”

Mitsuru finally puts his hands down, giving Tomoya an unimpressed look. “I don’t know need to hear that from _ you _ , Tomo-chan.”

“Wh— What’s that supposed to mean?” Tomoya asks, but Hajime interrupts them both before Mitsuru can answer.

“Why do you think it’s weird, Mitsuru-kun?”

“Because…” Mitsuru starts, though he’s not sure how to continue. All of this is unfamiliar territory, and though Mitsuru rarely lets that slow him down, it feels different this time. He can’t just blindly charge ahead when making a mistake could mean ruining an important friendship. “Because I don’t know what to do,” he says at last, unable to keep himself from sounding dejected.

“You sound like you’ve already given up,” Nazuna notes with a hint of sympathy in his voice. “That’s not like you.”

“I know, I know,” Mitsuru sighs. He hates this sinking feeling in his chest, but it’s too much to ignore. “But— I really don’t know what to do yanno…! Sora-chan is my friend and I love him super duper much. I don’t even wanna think about what would happen if I lost him.”

“Why do you think you’re going to lose him?” Hajime asks, sounding so gentle and understanding, Mitsuru can already feel some of the turmoil simmer down. “You and Harukawa-kun are very close from what I’ve seen… I don’t think he wants to lose you either.”

“Yeah, but— Sora-chan likes me as a friend.”

“You don’t know that,” Tomoya says.

Mitsuru’s eyes widen. “He doesn’t like being my friend!?”

“I— what? No, that’s not what I said.” Tomoya purses his lips, taking a moment to word himself in a way Mitsuru can easily understand. He’s been getting better at that. “You don’t know that Harukawa only likes you as a friend. He might have a crush on you too— _ that’s _ what I meant.”

Both Hajime and Nazuna give nods of agreement, looking encouraging even with their mouths full of lunch. 

Mitsuru can’t even imagine Sora liking him back. He’s fantasized about it of course, daydreaming in class about kissing Sora on the cheek and calling him his  _ boyfriend _ — daydreams that would only worsen when Sora would look back at Mitsuru from his desk, with eyes so blue they put the skies to shame. Honestly, how did anyone expect him to be able to focus when Sora was right there, with his cheerful voice and charming smile and—

Nazuna snaps his fingers in front of Mitsuru’s face, and he’s once again brought down to earth. 

“You were thinking about him, weren’t you.” Nazuna makes it sound like a statement rather than a question, though his tone is gentle, perhaps even a little amused. 

Hajime giggles, a dreamy look on his face. “You must really like him, Mitsuru-kun~ I’m happy for you.”

“It’s a bit early to say that, right?” Tomoya asks, one eyebrow raised. “He hasn’t even confessed to him yet.”

Mitsuru blinks. “Yet?”

Tomoya nods, “Yeah? I’m assuming you’re going to tell him about your feelings eventually? Probably pretty soon, knowing you.”

Hajime agrees with a hum, “It’s Mitsuru-kun after all. I would never have the courage to confess to my crush, but I know you can do it.”

“You have a crush?” Tomoya asks, looking so surprised he must have completely forgotten about Mitsuru’s situation. 

“Ah, um! I meant like, _ i-if  _ I ever had a crush! I don’t have one right now.”

Nazuna glances over at Mitsuru and gives him a look he’s begun to recognize as the _ ‘niichan knows something is up’ _ -look, and though Mitsuru can hazard a guess as to what it is Nazuna knows now, he’ll keep it to himself. They’ll figure that out another time— for now, he’s stuck thinking about the whole confession thing.

It makes sense that he should confess to Sora about his feelings, but the thought alone is enough to sap him of all his usual courage and confidence. Even to Mitsuru, who usually dives head first into every situation, a confession seems too risky. 

Or maybe he’s just a coward?

It’s not a word he likes to use about himself, though Mitsuru knows well he’s been a coward many times before. Each time he keeps his troubles to himself, each time he runs away from inevitably painful situations— it’s done out of cowardice.

And if he doesn’t confess to Sora, then that would be out of cowardice too, wouldn’t it?

“Mitsuru-kun?” It’s Hajime who brings him out of his thoughts this time, slowly waving his hand in front of Mitsuru’s eyes. “Sorry, we’ve been very nosy about all of this. You must be tired of it.

“He’s the one who wanted to talk about this with us,” Tomoya states, putting away his bento. 

Mitsuru nods. “Yeah, Tomo-chan is right! I’m no good at talking about this kinda stuff, but you guys help me a lot.”

Nazuna gives him a sheepish look, “It kind of feels like we just went around in circles… I don’t really know if anything we’ve said was useful.” He pauses for a moment, looking thoughtful. “I guess if I were to give you an actual piece of advice… it’d be that you don’t have to rush to figure everything out. If you don’t feel like you’re ready to confess, then you don’t have to. Just make sure you don’t wait for _ too  _ long either.”

“Wait for too long…?” Mitsuru repeats with a tilt of his head.

“Yeah, like… you never know what’s going to happen in the future. You might end up missing your chance to be with him.” There’s something in Nazuna’s voice, in his expression, that Mitsuru can’t recognize. Some sort of emotion that seems heavier than he lets on, but Mitsuru doesn’t dare ask about it. For now, he’ll just take Nazuna’s advice with a determined nod. 

_ Take your time, but don’t wait for too long. _

Mitsuru spends the rest of the day trying to understand what it means.

. 

Crushes, Mitsuru decides, are kinda stupid. They’re stupidly distracting, stupidly confusing and stupidly unnecessary. He wishes he could just jump straight to being Sora’s boyfriend, even though he’s not even sure if that’ll ever happen. Even just thinking about it, thinking the words  _ Sora  _ and  _ boyfriend _ in the same sentence, is enough to set off the butterflies again. 

They’ve been getting worse lately, awakening every time he even thinks about Sora, which is definitely stupid. 

He keeps thinking about what Nazuna had said, about missing his chance. And Tomoya, who had immediately jumped to confessing. And Hajime, who definitely had a crush on a certain someone, no matter how much he denied it. 

Mitsuru taps his fingers against his notebook, trying to connect the dots, trying to figure out what he should do. Wait? Confess? Stay quiet forever? Talk to the others again? Talk to  _ Sora? _

Of course he’ll talk to Sora. Not about the crush— no way, he’d rather give Shu the last Legendary Croissant than confess to Sora right now— but Mitsuru can’t avoid him either. He doesn’t _ want  _ to. If anything, he just wants to spend more time with him and have more fun with him and learn more about him. He wants to be a little selfish and keep Sora all to himself, and he wants Sora to feel the same way.

He heaves another heavy sigh, resting his forehead against the desk, watching his leg jiggle up and down, up and down, up and d—

“Hyeh!?” A quick poke to his side has Mitsuru jumping straight up, bumping his knee into the desk as his chair nearly falls over. 

“Woah— I wasn’t expecting you to have such a violent reaction!”

Eyes blown wide, Mitsuru turns to the source of the voice, mouth agape because wow, he_ really _hadn’t been expecting that and also _ow,_ his knee. But despite the mild pain he had inflicted upon Mitsuru, Tomoya doesn’t look particularly apologetic nor guilty, his expression looking mostly amused. Mitsuru would have pouted at that, had he not been too surprised about him being in the classroom in the first place.

“You surprised me, Tomo-chan! You didn’t have to poke me like that yanno, it tickled~!”

“I said your name twice, but you were too busy sighing to hear me.” 

“Ah? Sorry, I didn’t mean to ignore you.”

Tomoya smiles, looking surprisingly understanding. “I know, I know. You’ve been preoccupied thinking about other things, right?”

And though Mitsuru isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, it only takes him a moment to realize what— or rather, who— Tomoya is referring to. Luckily, it’s not enough to fluster Mitsuru, though he does quickly glance around the classroom just to check if Sora is there. The coast is clear, with most of the students already having left to find lunch.

“Oh!” Mitsuru suddenly exclaims, “It’s lunch time! I gotta get my bread!”

“I’ve got it~” A familiar voice calls out, and Mitsuru doesn’t even need to turn to see that it’s Nazuna.

“Woah, niichan is here too?”

“Me too, me too~” Hajime calls out with a wave of his hand, the other one holding his own bento. “We’ve come to have lunch with you, Mitsuru-kun.”

There’s no way Mitsuru can’t be excited over that, despite it being such a simple act of kindness. It’s not unusual for friends to eat lunch together, but there’s something extra special about having everyone come unplanned to his classroom. He almost feels like the host of a surprise dinner party! 

By the time they’ve pushed a couple of desks together and put out their little spread, the classroom is empty save for the four of them.

“Wah, this is totally like a picnic yanno!” Mitsuru says with a grin that’s quickly matched by the rest. Nazuna had managed to pick out the types of bread Mitsuru liked— which wasn’t that hard, given that Mitsuru liked just about all of them—, Hajime had once again prepared a delicious iced tea, and Tomoya had brought enough homemade onigiri for all of them. 

“Let’s dig in~!” 

There’s not a whole lot of space (they definitely should have gotten a third desk), but none of them mind. Bumping elbows and nearly spilling each other’s tea isn’t too bad when it means they get to sit close together, huddled together like a group of actual bunnies. The comparison makes Mitsuru smile, and Tomoya gives him a curious glance, but says nothing.

“Lunch always tastes better with friends!” There’s still time left once they’ve all had their share of the food and tea, and none of them make any move to leave.

Hajime smiles, “I agree. It’s nice doing this now and then.”

“How about we invite Sora-chin to eat with us next time?”

Getting to spend lunch with Hajime, Tomoya and Nazuna is already enough to make Mitsuru giddy with excitement, but the thought of getting to eat with all three of them  _ and _ Sora would be like a little dream come true. The butterflies once again come to life as he pictures it, but it’s not an unpleasant feeling, so Mitsuru nods. “Yeah! Yeah, I wanna eat with Sora-chan too!”

“You agreed to that surprisingly fast,” Tomoya says with raised eyebrows. “You were so timid the other day, I thought you were gonna be all  _ ‘I’m too embarrassed to eat with Sora-chan yanno!’ _ ”

“Ooh, your impression of Mitsuru-kun has gotten better, Tomoya-kun,” Hajime interjects with a pleased smile on his face.

“Eh? Eh, but there’s no way I would say that?” Mitsuru says, though he’s aware there’s some truth to Tomoya’s words. Perhaps it’s normal for others to be shy around their crush, but Mitsuru is Mitsuru, and the words  _ shy _ and _ embarrassed  _ are usually not present in his vocabulary. Even Mitsuru finds himself confused over his own reactions to this whole crush ordeal, but it’s not like he can control it. 

“Nn, I guess I’ve been kinda timid but… I don’t wanna be like this forever! And like niichan said, I shouldn’t wait for too long.”

Nazuna looks up at the sound of his name, and Mitsuru can easily imagine a pair of bunny ears on his head perking up. “So you _ are  _ going to confess?”

That is the million dollar question, isn’t it? Even after having mulled it over for so long, while lying awake in bed, while staring out the window during class, even during track practice— Mitsuru still struggles to give an immediate answer. 

But looking at his unit mates, all three of them looking at him with such expectant and hopeful expressions, there’s no way Mitsuru can say anything but yes. 

“I— gotta try! I gotta stop being a coward and try!”

“You’re not a coward, Mitsuru-chin. Everyone struggles with confessing to their crush.” 

From what Mitsuru has seen in movies and heard from his older siblings, that does seem to be true. The shy looks, sweaty hand holding, nervous smiles… Mitsuru had never understood it before, always asking wondering why the protagonists couldn’t just confess already and get it over with— but he gets it now. Kind of. He still doesn’t understand the sweaty hand holding. 

In fact, he’s held hands with Sora a bunch of times. It had started out at the bookfair, as a way for them to not lose each other in the crowds, but these days, holding hands just feels… right. It feels nice and comforting, just like Sora’s entire presence. 

Getting to hang out with Sora is one of the best parts of Mitsuru’s days. Mitsuru is so grateful for the fact that he gets to be friends with someone so kind, someone who actually understands his problems and listens to him rather than just thinking he’s dumb. Their friendship means the world to Mitsuru, and though he’s happy with just being friends, there’s that little part of him that isn’t entirely satisfied. 

Well, it used to be a little part, but now it’s grown bigger and bigger and really feels like it's only a matter of time before Mitsuru bursts at the seams and exposes his feelings. 

And Sora… 

Mitsuru can’t imagine Sora getting upset about something like that, but perhaps that’s just his wishful thinking. But in his mind, Sora is smiling and giggling and holding his hands, and maybe even wanting to kiss Mitsuru too.

And the only way to make that possibility a reality, is to tell Sora the truth. 

He feels a gentle hand wrap around one of his own, giving a comforting squeeze. It’s a familiar feeling, a gesture Nazuna has done many times before whenever any of them seem nervous. “Mitsuru-chin often lends us his courage, so it’s our turn this time, right?”

Hajime nods eagerly, his hands clasped together. “Yes, of course! Mitsuru-kun is always helping me stay calm before lives and interviews, so I want to repay all the help you’ve given me. I may not have a lot of courage, but I will give you everything that I have.”

“I’m sure you’ve already got plenty of courage yourself but— for what it’s worth, I’ll lend you what I have too,” Tomoya smiles, just as bright and encouraging as the other two, and Mitsuru is pretty sure he could just burst with happiness at it all. Courage may not be a tangible thing, but that’s fine. He may not be able to see it or feel it in his hands, but he can certainly feel it on the inside, like a comforting warmth, like a warm cup of tea. 

“A-Alright!” Mitsuru clenches his fist, determined as if he’s preparing to go into battle. But it’s alright, because he’s armed with a fine weapon provided by his friends. “I’ll go now then! I’ll tell Sora-chan!”

It’s almost comical how quickly everyone’s expressions change into ones of surprise.

“Right now?” Nazuna asks, “Are you sure you don’t want to, I dunno, plan it out more?”

“Nope!” Mitsuru grins as he stands up, drunk on excitement and butterflies and courage. “You were the one who told me not to waste time, niichan! So~ I’ll take your advice and go now!”

And so he does. Without glancing back, he dashes out of the room to find Sora.

And promptly wastes the rest of lunch break running around in search of him. 

.

“Do you think he did it?” Hajime asks Tomoya once their class has ended, a giddy smile on his face. Tomoya doesn’t even have to ask to know who he’s talking about.

“You seem really excited about this,” he replies, though he can’t help but smile as well.

“Of course I am! It’s a special event, after all. Like a birthday~ If all goes well, we could get some cake to celebrate.”

Most people would probably be embarrassed over such a gesture, but neither Mitsuru nor Sora were like most people. If anything, they would probably just be happy to receive cake. 

“So you think it’s gonna go well?” Tomoya asks as he gathers his things, getting ready to head home with Hajime. 

“Mhm~ They get along so well I almost thought they were childhood friends, you know?”

“And? Not all childhood friends end up dating.”

“I know, but people who’ve known each other for a long time have a special connection, right? And I feel like they have that connection.”

“ _ We’ve _ known each other for a long time.” Tomoya isn’t entirely sure why he says that, words escaping him before he can properly understand what he’s implying. He can openly admit that he and Hajime have a special connection, but the romantic undertones of the conversation makes his heartbeat quicken.

Even Hajime seems to pause for a moment, surprise obvious in his features. He opens his mouth before closing it again, seemingly rethinking his words for so long, Tomoya moves his gaze forward instead. 

“Yes, we have,” Hajime says at last, something about his tone sound a little different. “M… Maybe we’re like Sora-kun and Mitsuru-kun too.”

And as if the implication of those words weren’t obvious enough already, Hajime’s bright pink cheeks certainly make it clear. 

For a moment, neither of them speak, walking in silence as the words and implications and feelings hang over their heads. They’re so close, Tomoya could reach out and touch them, hold them close as he finally,  _ finally  _ lets himself speak those words that have been resting on his lips for so long. 

“Hajime, I—”

“Tomo-chan! Hajime-chan!” 

It’s Mitsuru’s loud voice that interrupts him, and just like that, their moment is gone, another chance slipping right out of Tomoya’s hands.

And perhaps Tomoya would be annoyed about it, if it wasn’t for the fact that Mitsuru is running towards them, an impossibly wide and bright smile on his face and, more importantly, holding hands with Sora, who’s running just as fast, smiling just as brightly. 

From the corner of his eye, he catches Hajime’s excited smile as he goes to meet the pair, and Tomoya decides that it’s alright. There will be more chances.

Right now, they need to go buy some cake. 

**Author's Note:**

> this fic did not go where i was planning it to go so i'm sorry if it's a little messy!!! i, like mitsurus feelings, am all over the place! i also don't have a beta so i'm sorry about any mistakes too OTL i hope you enjoyed it though! thank you for reading!!
> 
> hmu on twitter @ bibibingka for more wabbits content  
title taken from _dance with me_ by beabadoobee  
(am i using fic titles to recommend songs???perhaps)


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